


it's paradise

by twoshipsdrifting



Series: where the lights are beautiful [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Omega Louis, mentions of heat, mentions of mpreg, minor ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 05:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19244356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoshipsdrifting/pseuds/twoshipsdrifting
Summary: A 100% self indulgent, short follow up fic.Or Louis figures out at least two things about his relationship with Harry.





	it's paradise

Harry’s humming softly as he wraps his arms around Louis, placing his hands precisely on Louis’s stomach.  

Louis still blushes, though Harry’s done it several times now.

            “Stop,” he protests, halfheartedly.  

            “No,” Harry says, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck before pressing on his stomach as gently as he can. “I can feel her, she’s in there.”

Louis only blushes harder then.

            “I’ve not gotten any bigger yet and we both know it.” He huffs when Harry still hasn’t moved. “You’re going to give me a complex.”

            “You’re going to get _huge_ ,” Harry says, delighted.

He finally moves, hands settling on Louis’s shoulder and hip to turn him around.

“She’ll need room to grow,” he adds before sprinkling kisses across Louis’s face. “Our pup,” he whispers.

Louis almost shivers. His toes curl in his socks.

            “You don’t know it’s a she,” he protests eventually.

            “I have a feeling,” Harry says, kissing the tip of his nose then. “I also have a feeling that she’s going to be perfect and I’m going to love her more than anything else in the entire world.”

            “More than me?” Louis teases.

            “Of course,” Harry says.

Louis gasps in outrage and Harry dodges away from his swatting hand.

“More than you, more than Chelsea boots, more than _everything_.”

            “Don’t tease,” Louis admonishes.

Even after all this time, he can’t bear it.  

 

Harry steps close again, framing Louis’s face with his hands.

            “Lou,” he whispers.

            “What,” Louis says shortly, looking down.

            “Lou,” Harry repeats.

            “Don’t,” Louis says, sharper then. “Don’t act like I’m being insecure for no reason, Harry.”

            “I’ve told you so many times-”

            “And I’ll never believe you,” Louis cuts him off.

He swallows against the tightness in his throat.

_I’ll never believe you_ he thinks again. Dread swells up so thick and heavy he could almost choke on it.

He pushes away from Harry, one hand landing on the counter behind him to steady himself.

            “Louis,” Harry says from behind him. “Wake up.”

            “What?”

            “Wake up. Stop hurting yourself.”

_Wake up?_

It’s like stumbling over a rise in the sidewalk. Things made sense and then they didn’t.

 

Louis doesn’t wake sharply. He doesn’t jerk up in bed – he doesn’t even gasp.

He wakes almost gently; lashes untangling as his eyes open. Blinking up at the ceiling, he’s almost relieved.

It was only a dream. He isn’t pregnant.

But the rest of it isn’t a dream, as much as he wishes it were.

Harry’s still in bed with him. It must be early.

Still, Louis rolls closer and nuzzles into Harry’s arm.

Harry hums in response and embarrassed, Louis goes still.

            “What’s it,” Harry mumbles.

            “Nothing,” Louis tells him, “go to sleep.”

            “I’m asleep,” Harry lies.

            “You should be,” Louis tells him. “It’s early.”

Harry falls silent for about forty-five seconds. Then he turns his head, peeking through some loose curls at Louis.

            “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Louis sighs, glancing back to the ceiling.

            “It’s nothing.”

            “It’s not nothing,” Harry persists.

            “Get out of my head,” Louis grouses.

 

Not that Harry can actually read his mind – thank god.

That would honestly be too much.

            “I’m gonna lie here until you tell me.”

            “Then you’ll be late to work.”

            “Then I’ll be late to work,” Harry agrees.

            “And eventually starve to death,” Louis tells him, sliding a glance to Harry and away.

            “Whatever you say, Darling.”

Harry rolls onto his back, one huge hand readjusting the sheet. Then he reaches out and grabs Louis’s hand.

Harry brings it up to his mouth, kissing Louis’s palm before pressing it flat to his heart.

Louis doesn’t protest it.

After a moment, he slides close enough to settle his cheek on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry doesn’t pester him. He doesn’t try to guess what’s bothering Louis, doesn’t even look at him.

Instead, they lie there in silence as Louis feels Harry’s heart beating.

There’s something soothing about it, something that Louis can’t put a name to. He wonders then if Harry knows whether he says anything or not.

…

A few days pass and Louis manages not to think about the dream too much. Which isn’t to say he doesn’t think about it.

He and Harry have talked about kids enough that Louis almost feels as if it’s expected of him. That only makes him not want to do it though.

Shouldn’t they have kids because they love each other and want to start a family?

But then does Harry love him? Does he really?

Harry cares for him, sometimes he even feels affection for Louis. Louis sees it in his eyes and he hears it in Harry’s voice – he’ll even get the briefest of flickers through their bond.

But is that love? Is that drop everything, this is it, this is your _life_ love?

Louis sighs to himself.

Harry hasn’t given him any reasons to doubt him. In fact, he’s been doing just what he said he would. He tells Louis he loves him at least twice a day and he does things to show it too. It’s there in all the signs that it was before, like the way he treats Louis’s family. But it’s there in new ways too.

Like the way Harry will touch him casually. He won’t leave the house without giving Louis a kiss. He won’t come back without doing the same.

 

Louis feels like a fool for still holding back.

He thinks Harry’s holding back too but it’s probably just him projecting.

Their bond is strong enough that Louis can feel Harry – all day if he tries. But at the same time, it’s weak. There’s moments when it feels walled off or incomplete.

It would probably get better if he would talk to Harry about it. Louis has enough of a mess in the back of his brain though. He doesn’t feel like adding to it.

…

            “Lou,” Harry draws out. “You wanna come out with us tonight?”

Harry’s just gotten home and Louis turns away from the TV to look at him.

            “Us?”

Harry drops his bag on a chair and crosses to kiss the top of Louis’s head.

            “My friends,” Harry says, which isn’t very specific. “Call Zayn.”

Louis snorts at that.

            “Really not up for another round of the Zayn and Liam show, thanks though.”

Harry huffs, amused.

            “Don’t call him then? You can still come out with us.”

            “Next time,” Louis promises after a moment.

He’s really not sure introducing alcohol to the mess in his brain is a good idea.

Harry’s lips twist in a slight pout but his eyes watch Louis carefully.

            “Alright,” he agrees, squeezing Louis’s shoulders before standing up again. “Next time.”

Louis isn’t sure which of them means it more.

 

By the time Harry makes it back home – helped in by Liam and a girl whose name Louis can’t remember – Louis is kind of regretting not going.

But he supposes if they were both this sloppily drunk his mum would have to take care of them and that doesn’t seem very fair.

            “Louuuuuuu,” Harry drawls out, “hiiiiiii.”

He grins up at him before his head rolls to rest against his shoulder again.

            “Hey big guy,” Louis offers, opening his arms to take Harry instead. “Don’t squish me,” he warns as Harry takes a fumbling step forward.

            “You got him?” Liam asks, his eyes are sharp – his tone concerned and controlled in a way only alphas can achieve.

            “I’m good,” Louis nods.

Harry knocks into him then, nearly sending both of them to the ground as Louis struggles to brace himself.

“Hey, don’t be a noodle, stand up a bit.”

Harry whines, lifting his face from where it was smooshed against Louis’s throat to sigh at him.

            “Missed you,” he says softly. “Smell good.”

            “I’m glad,” Louis laughs, “you smell like a zoo.”

            “I was dancing,” Harry explains excitedly.

Louis huffs but he can feel the overly fond expression on his face.

His alpha can still be a bit of a child sometimes. But Louis supposes that fits with the way he can be a bit bossy – neither of them can ever be accused of being traditionalists. 

            “I’ve got him,” Louis repeats to Liam. “Thanks for getting him home.”

Liam smiles and the girl with him laughs outright.

            “He’s been talking about coming home for the last three hours,” she says.

            “More like whining,” Liam adds.

 

Something in Louis softens at that. Another part of him preens.

            “Drive safe,” he says, looking back to Harry.

            “Jesus,” the girl laughs. “We will, thanks.”

They move closer to the door and Louis scratches his fingers through Harry’s hair.

            “All right?”

            “Missed you,” Harry says again.

            “Let’s get to bed,” Louis suggests. “You’re gonna walk for me, right”

            “Mmhm,” Harry agrees.

Louis wraps an arm around his waist anyway.

They make their way down the hallway slowly, Louis trying not to wrinkle his nose at the way Harry smells. Harry must have danced with a lot of people but Louis can smell at least two omegas on him and it’s not fun.

            “How about a shower before bed?”

            “Bath,” Harry negotiates quickly. “Wanna sit down.”

            “Good plan.”

            “Sorry I stink like other omegas,” Harry says slowly.

Louis looks down, caught out.

            “I’ve done worse,” he says.

 

            “Lou,” Harry says. He stops, pulling Louis to a stop with him. “I love you.”

Louis gasps, hands tightening on Harry because at that same moment there’s an insistent push from the bond. He can’t remember feeling anything like it before.

“I love you,” Harry says again. He rests his head against Louis’s.

Louis pushes back against the bond, both curious and uncomfortable with the feeling of it. Rather than pushing Harry out it’s like he pushes through the bond until they merge together.

Harry gasps this time, moaning next. He sags and nearly takes them down again, Louis slapping his left hand against the wall for some stability.

_Oh my god_ , Louis thinks.

He doesn’t know how to explain what he feels.

It’s like he can feel Harry, he always feels Harry, but not like this. It’s as if…as if they both exist in their bodies and outside of them. And Louis can feel everywhere they touch. Physically and…and however else too.

It’s intense but at the same time Louis never wants it to end.

He feels so safe and so loved that he never wants to leave _this_.

Louis pulls Harry closer, kissing him the best that he can because not kissing Harry isn’t an option.

Harry groans again, the full weight of him pressing Louis flat against the wall and Louis feels the quickest frisson of fear. They can’t fuck in the hallway. They definitely shouldn’t at least.

            “Bed,” he says. Then he says it again because Harry’s still swallowing every noise he makes.

            “I thought bath.”

            “We’d both drown,” Louis laughs. “Bed – definitely bed.”

Harry kisses him again.

            “I love you,” he repeats.

            “I love you, too.”

It’s still a solid ten minutes before they actually make it to their bedroom.

 

Harry’s struggling enough with the buttons on his shirt that Louis goes to help him, giggling against his best efforts.

            “Love,” he sighs, “you’re so drunk.”

            “So drunk,” Harry agrees. He hasn’t realized yet that Louis’s hands have dropped away. He pouts down at a button before giving up and moving to draw the entire shirt over his head. For a moment, he gets tangled and wavers dangerously, Louis giggles again but then he reaches out to steady his alpha.

            “Maybe we shouldn’t tonight,” Louis suggests softly.  

Harry rights himself, shirt dropping to the floor.

            “I really want to,” he sighs.

            “I do too,” Louis agrees.

            “Can we make out?” Harry asks, turning his big doe eyes on Louis.

            “At the very least,” Louis says. He can barely stop smiling to kiss Harry again.

 

If they end up rubbing against each other until they get off; they _tried_ to be responsible adults.

 

In the morning, the first thing Louis does is stretch. Then he blinks open his eyes to search out Harry. The bed beside him is empty and Louis sighs before glancing to the bathroom.

The door is closed and he can faintly hear the shower running.

_Boring_ Louis thinks. It isn’t like Harry has to work today. He definitely shouldn’t be vertical right now.

Louis huffs and takes another few minutes before he forces himself up and out of bed.

Chances of getting Harry to knot him in the shower are slim but at least Louis can hurry him up a bit.

Louis strips down quickly and invites himself into the shower, gently touching Harry’s shoulder to let him know he’s there.

Harry should know he’s there anyway but Louis gives him the warning anyway.

            “Hey.” Harry offers, low and slow.

            “Morning,” Louis returns. “Feeling better?”

Harry smiles and it’s tinged bitter.

            “Yeah,” he says, “thanks.”

Louis presses onto his tip toes, gripping Harry’s slick shoulders as he kisses him.

Harry returns the kiss eagerly enough but Louis feels like something is missing.

Tentatively, he reaches out for their bond.

 

He can feel it – it’s still there, but it’s further away somehow. Like he’s trying to see with the sun shining in his eyes. Or trying to talk to someone in a crowded bar.

Harry’s…fuzzy.

Louis pulls back a bit.

            “You’re okay?”

            “Yeah,” Harry says, brow puckering.

Louis nearly prods at the bond again but decides against it.

Last night was a fluke. Last night was because Harry was drunk.

Their bond wasn’t like that. It wasn’t that deep.

Harry loves him…just not like that.

Louis forces himself to smile. It’s alright. He’s alright.

            “Good,” he says, “I’m starving.”

He turns before Harry says anything else, stepping back out of the shower and grabbing a towel.

 

Of course, because Harry’s Harry – Louis doesn’t get very far.

            “Lou,” he says, striding from the shower completely naked.

            “You’re dripping,” Louis offers feebly. He crosses his arms over his chest.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Nothing,” Louis says immediately. “I’m…fine.”

            “You’re lying.”

He isn’t wrong.

Louis nibbles on his bottom lip instead of answering.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Harry starts out, feeling his way.

Louis barely stops himself from scoffing.

            “You wanted to get laid. You didn’t have to…do that. I like sex, remember?”

Harry watches him a long moment.

            “Do what?”

Louis rolls his eyes.

            “The bond thing.”

            “The bond thing,” Harry repeats slowly.

            “I felt you,” Louis says. “And I can’t feel you now.”

            “Oh,” Harry allows.

 

It’s his turn to shift awkwardly and he shifts some hair aside before rubbing his palm across the back of his neck.

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

            “Kind of obvious now,” Louis snips.

            “I don’t deserve the bond,” Harry says, “not yet.”

What.

            “What?”

            “I don’t deserve my bond with you until you trust me.”

            “Are you joking?” Louis can’t help but demand.

            “I hurt you, Louis. You think I don’t know about the dreams? The way you still pull away from me?”

Louis opens his mouth, but Harry continues before he can respond.

“I’m not blaming you. This is my fault.”

Louis thinks about that for a moment.

            “This is like when you spent your rut alone instead of taking me.”

Harry shrugs.

Louis sighs.

 

            “I like the bond,” he finally says. “Do you like the bond?”

Harry nods sharply.

            “Of course I do. All I wanted last night was to be with you, Lou.”

            “Let me feel you,” Louis says. “Please.”

Harry closes the distance between them, gripping Louis’s shoulders and pulling him even closer.

            “You can feel me.”

            “I want to feel you inside me,” Louis specifies, “and don’t get dirty. Not yet.”

            “It’s hard to stop it,” Harry stalls, “once I start.”

            “Then don’t,” Louis says, as if it’s simple.

Harry grins at him sharply for a moment.

            “When it happens,” he says, “when we’re ready – I don’t want your family here for it.”

Okay, so…he probably had a point.

Still, Louis nearly stamps his foot in frustration.

            “It’s hardly romantic to schedule knotting my arse but if you insist,” he huffs.

            “Don’t tempt me,” Harry laughs.

He snatches the towel from Louis’s waist and leers appreciatively before returning to the bathroom to finish his routine.

Louis is left feeling an odd mix of hopeful and irritated. He isn’t sure what to do with it.

…

            “And then, Lou – LOU!”

Louis jerks so hard he nearly falls off the couch, coughing quickly in a mix of embarrassment and shock.

“I know your relationship is working out pretty great but can you spare me a few more moments?” Zayn asks, expression irritated.

Louis’s face flushes with even more embarrassment.

            “Sorry,” he admits. “We were somewhere between you want Liam to fuck you but don’t want to admit it, right?”

Zayn scowls and swats at him with a throw pillow.

            “Wanker. The fucking isn’t the problem. Hypothetically.”  

            “Hypothetically,” Louis agrees, dryly.

            “He’s – he’s an alpha. Okay. I’m. Perfectly capable of wanting that. But like. It’s. The rest of it.”

            “Zee,” Louis sighs, feeling guilty. His best friend doesn’t get like this very often and when he does, it’s a sign of true distress. “Please breathe. We don’t have to sort this in the next ten seconds, you know?”

            “We keep just skirting around this thing and I’m. I don’t. I’m not some simpering omega. You and I both know that. Like. I can’t just. Fuck.”

He stands sharply and starts patting his pockets for his cigarettes, letting out a quick groan of frustration almost immediately.

            “Quit again?”

            “Fuck,” Zayn answers, succinct. “I just know it’s not gonna work and I need to stop wanting it. But I don’t know how to do that,” he whisper shouts, rapid fire.

            “Liam seems like a nice guy,” Louis tries.

Zayn grunts, sinking to the couch again.

 

            “You didn’t see him in full alpha mode the – that night.”

            “Well, an omega was bleeding,” Louis points out.

            “But if that’s how he is-”

            “To be fair, you don’t really know how he is.”

Zayn looks at him for a long moment, narrowing his eyes.

            “You’re only this smart when you’re ignoring your own shit.”

            “Nope. You wanted to talk about you and Liam.”

            “And we did. Now we can talk about you and Harry. When’s he putting a ring on it?”

Obviously, Zayn is joking. Louis knows he’s joking. He tries to laugh but ends up choking, then coughing.

About thirty seconds later he’s quietly crying.

“Shit, Lou, what’s wrong?”

Louis wipes off his face and inhales shakily.

            “Harry blocked his side of the bond,” he manages. “Something about – he doesn’t deserve it or whatever but…it still hurts.” He takes a deep breath. “And I still don’t know if I really trust him.”

            “I didn’t know,” Zayn apologizes.

            “No, it’s,” he sighs, starts again. “It just happened. Can I come stay with you?”  

            “No, you can’t come stay with me. I’m not dealing with Harry hopped up on his alpha shit either.”

Louis pouts, though part of him is relieved. He doesn’t want to leave Harry he just…doesn’t know what to do _with_ him either.

“Well,” Zayn says after an awkward pause, “you guys talked about it, right?”

            “Yeah. I told him I liked the bond.”

Zayn winces and Louis looks away.

“It was early in the morning,” he huffs.

Before Zayn can respond there’s a key rattling in the front door and Louis groans quickly.

It’s too early for Harry to be home but he also doesn’t really want to deal with anyone but Zayn right now.

“Let’s go to Harry’s office, no one will bug us in there.”

He hopes at least.

 

They make it into Harry’s office before whoever is at the door comes in and Louis breathes a quick sigh of relief as the door closes.

It’s almost perfectly quiet in the office and Zayn stands stock still, watching Louis with wide eyes.

            “What?”

            “Isn’t this like…Harry’s space?”

            “I mean, yeah. But I’m not gonna take you to our bedroom.”

At this, Zayn nods.

            “Good call.”

He crosses over to Harry’s desk, sitting in one of the simple chairs in front of it.

Because Louis is Louis, he obviously walks behind Harry’s desk and sits in the giant spinny chair.

            “Ooh,” he exhales as he sinks into the plush padding. “This is nice. I should have an office.”

Across from him, Zayn snorts.

            “For what?”

            “I don’t know,” Louis answers. “Office things.”

He wheels the chair back slightly, leaning back enough to put his feet up on the desk. The back of the chair leans back further than he was expecting and he swears quickly before yanking his ankles off the desk and righting himself.

Zayn’s laughing hard but silently, shoulders shaking.

“Shut up.”

 

Louis starts opening drawers in Harry’s desk to distract himself, pausing sharply at the sight of a leather-bound book in the right bottom drawer.

“Zee,” he says, less urgently than the situation calls for – in his own opinion.

            “What?” Zayn manages, giggling once.

Louis takes a breath and lifts the book out. He flips the cover and first few pages open, slapping it closed immediately.

Yup. It’s definitely a journal.

            “Shit.”

Louis places the journal on the desk, staring at the corner of the binding.

            “Lou,” Zayn says.

Louis glances up at him. His eyebrows are heavily disapproving.

            “I’m not gonna read it. Obviously.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, his stomach sinks. He pretty much knows – he’s gonna read it.

            “It’s not a good idea.”

            “I said I wasn’t gonna read it.”

            “You lied.”

            “Well I…who even writes physical journals anymore? Save it all on your laptop at least. Have the decency to hide it like porn.”

            “It is in his desk drawer in his office in his house.”

            “An unlocked drawer,” Louis points out. It feels important.

            “Okay, well, I don’t really want to be a part of this.”

            “Fine,” Louis agrees. “Go away.”

Zayn sighs at him. It’s the first time he’s done it in a while actually.

            “Text me later.”

            “I will,” Louis agrees as Zayn leaves.

 

Louis doesn’t dive right in. He waits. He really thinks about whether or not he wants to do this.

It’s not so much that he wants to. He doesn’t want to be a bad mate to Harry or hurt him.

But, Louis feels like for his own sake of mind – he has to know. He has to know if Harry is telling the truth.

Louis takes a deep breath and opens the journal again.

…

He doesn’t read the entire thing.

Even if he thought he’d had time for it, he doesn’t want to.

By the time Louis leaves Harry’s office, he’s feeling quite a bit ashamed of his actions and all he wants is a distraction.

He didn’t know what he’d been expecting.

Undoubtedly, they’d had some rough times since this whole thing started. He just wasn’t expecting Harry to still be so…cold.

No wonder he’s blocked off his side of the bond.

He’s quite a good actor though – Louis will give him that.

Something in Louis’s stomach swoops low and sad at that and he catches his breath, curling both hands in the hem of his tee shirt.

He’s lying in his and Harry’s bed trying to ignore everything that he can’t ignore.

As much as he wants to go bug his mum or his sisters, he doesn’t want them to ask what’s wrong.

He’s debated texting Zayn several times but all he can think to say is ‘he doesn’t love me’ or something equally as banal.

As it is, he feels like texting anything will only make him sadder, so he avoids that too.

 

After another half hour his mum knocks at the door and Louis grunts to himself before forcing his body out of bed.

            “Yes?” he asks, pulling the door open and trying to sound chipper.

            “Hey, Love, can you text Harry and ask when he’ll be home? I don’t want dinner to be sitting too long.”

He nearly asks his mum to text Harry instead as he doesn’t want to, but Louis supposes Harry is still his mate. Forever. The thought makes him frown and he quickly clears it, forcing his head to nod in a mechanical motion.

            “Sure,” he agrees.

Thankfully his mum doesn’t appear to have noticed anything is wrong, gifting him a smile before turning and heading back down the hallway.

Louis closes the door, breathing out a short sigh of relief.

At least he doesn’t have to worry about modulating his voice with Harry – not yet.

 

_> >hey when are u coming home_

_< <soon_

_> >when, mum’s making dinner _

Louis presses.

_< <ok lol maybe 20 min _

_> >you’re just leaving _

_< <yes _

_> >fine _

_< <what?_

Louis grunts, locking his phone and dropping it on the empty side of the bed.

He doesn’t want to answer Harry or fight with him.

Come to think of it he doesn’t want to have dinner with him either.

Louis gets out of bed again, stomping over to the closet to put on shoes. He leaves his phone where it is, heading out the door.

            “Mum! Harry will be home in 20, going to Zayn’s!” he yells as he’s leaving.

His mum calls out to him but Louis fairly runs out the door and down the driveway, eager to get to the bus stop.

As much as Zayn is going to rub it in his face that he was right, and Louis shouldn’t have read Harry’s journal – Louis still needs time to deal with the fallout.

…

After he and Zayn have smoked a bowl – or three – there’s a firm knock at the door and Louis’s stomach drops to his knees.

His high tapers away and he sighs before forcing himself to his feet.

Zayn doesn’t say a word, eyes half open as he watches Louis go.

Of course, Harry is on the other side of the door.

Louis doesn’t say anything, leaning against the door enough to block any path into Zayn’s flat.

            “Are you coming home any time soon?” Harry enquires.

            “Um,” Louis stalls. He knows he’s angry at Harry, but he doesn’t want to bring up why. “Yeah,” he says, the pause longer than he’d intended.

            “I’ll be in the car,” Harry tells him, turning neatly and walking back down the hall.

Louis scowls after him, unwilling to check his emotions.

Zayn still hasn’t said anything by the time Louis turns around, shutting the door behind him. The quirk of his lips is a bit _I told you so_ though.

Maybe Louis is projecting again.

In any case, he bends to gather up his shoes, shoving them on his feet.

            “See you later.”

            “Yup.”

 

The night has gotten chilly and Louis shivers as he hurries to the Range Rover.

Harry doesn’t say anything as he climbs in and it’s all Louis can do not to huff as he crosses his arms over his chest and settles into the seat.

Harry doesn’t move to start the car. He sits silently, gazing out the windshield.

Louis lets the silence sit, pretending he doesn’t remember how awful it is to have Harry angry with him. It’s still pretty awful.

            “Is this about the bond?” Harry asks, still looking forward.

            “No,” Louis answers, rolling his eyes for no one’s benefit but his own.

            “Okay,” Harry accepts. Then, “What is it?”

Louis sighs. He shifts in the seat.

            “I don’t want to tell you,” he settles on finally.

            “I would prefer if you did,” Harry commented, the words clipped precisely.

_Ugh_. Louis hates this ultra-polite version of Harry too. Is he like this at work?

Louis doesn’t answer for several moments.

It isn’t until the second time he shivers that Harry moves to start the engine. He turns on the heat and sits back again, apparently content to wait until Louis tells him before they can go home.

For a moment, Louis is bitterly angry, and he exhales hard. He opens his mouth and closes it again, lifting a hand to push fringe out of his face.

            “Fine,” he snaps. “I read your journal.”

Harry jerks to look at him then, brows pinching before smoothing out.

            “No, you didn’t,” he says. 

            “I did,” Louis retorts, angrier still.

            “My journal was with me at work all day.”

            “I read the one in your desk drawer.”

Silence falls sharply at that, the only noise the heated air rushing from the vents.

 

Harry huffs – it’s nearly a laugh.

            “You read my old journal,” he says.

_How old_ Louis wants to ask immediately. He manages to restrain himself.

“I take it you weren’t happy with what you read?” Harry prompts.

            “No,” Louis says. “Between that and the bond-”

            “You said this wasn’t about the bond,” Harry challenges.

            “It’s _not_ but I’m not thrilled about it either. If you don’t like me that much then-”

            “Louis.”

Harry shoves the word out of his chest so forcefully that Louis stops short, staring at him. “I know you don’t trust me, and it’s my fault – I was an utter prick to you. _But_ that was before…before everything. I swear to you, that’s over.”

            “Then why are you blocking me?” Louis demands. His throat is getting tight in that dangerous way and he knows if this goes on much longer he’s going to cry.

            “Oh, Lou,” Harry sighs. “I’ve never been good with the bond like you are. I can’t…make it bend to my will.”

With each word Louis’s chest only aches more and he debates jumping back out of the car and making a run for it.

“Louis,” Harry says gently, calling him back. He touches Louis’s knee softly, but the touch is unexpected enough to shock a gasp from Louis. “I’m not blocking the bond,” Harry continues. “You are.”

            “What? I’m not.”

            “I can’t blame you,” Harry adds. He shakes his head and sits back, withdrawing his hand. “I did this,” he says. “I broke your trust before I ever earned it. I hurt you so badly you can’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop. It isn’t your fault, Love.”

            “But…”

Louis trails off. He doesn’t even know where to begin.

Is it possible?

“I love you.”

When Harry looks back to him, his smile has a sad tilt to it.

 

            “I know you do,” he assures him, reaching out again. “I feel it sometimes.”

            “Only sometimes?”

He uncrosses his arms to take Harry’s offered hand.

            “I think maybe you read my journal because you want me to be angry with you a little bit.”

            “I don’t want that,” Louis argues, “not at all.”

Except…he’s not entirely sure.

“I don’t want you angry with me.”

            “But once it’s happened you don’t have to worry about it happening.”

Louis has to look down, feeling his lips turn.

            “I don’t know,” he admits. “I think I’m a mess right now.”

            “While we’re hashing things out,” Harry pauses here to sigh, “I should probably admit that I lied to you about something.”

Louis can’t manage to say anything to that, certain that he’s staring at Harry with eyes too big.

“I can’t smell your suppressants,” Harry says. “I just…wanted you to stop panicking.”

            “I thought you were about to say something so much worse,” Louis laughs. “Thank god.”

            “I’m still sorry,” Harry puts in.

            “It’s okay.”

Harry leans closer, pressing his forehead to Louis’s shoulder for a moment.

            “Are we done fighting for today?” he asks.

            “Yeah,” Louis says, something in him slowly unwinding.

            “Okay.”

Harry leans in again, pressing a kiss to Louis’s temple.

He pulls his phone out, tapping at the screen before tucking it away. Only then does he finally turn the headlights on and pull out of the spot.

“Told your mum we’re both safe and she doesn’t need to wait up.”

            “Okay.”

Louis forces himself to be bold, laying his hand on Harry’s knee.

 

…

 

When they get home everyone is already asleep, only a light in the hall still on.

Louis is so relieved he doesn’t have words for it.

Something in him soothes even further as Harry takes his hand in the foyer.

            “You should eat,” Harry tells him.

            “Okay,” he’s feeling all sorts of agreeable now – now that he knows he’s the problem. “Come with me?”

Harry shoots him an indecipherable look but nods after another moment.

There’s a wrapped plate for him in the fridge and as he puts it in the microwave Harry pulls himself onto the kitchen island, ridiculously long legs nearly touching the floor still.

He’s ridiculous. Louis hates him.

Louis hates him so much that he crosses back to him, insinuating himself between Harry’s slightly spread thighs.

“I’m sorry.”

Harry leans into him, warm and solid. He presses a kiss to Louis’s brow.

            “I’m sorry, too.”

            “Don’t,” Louis says. “ _I’m_ sorry. It’s my fault.”

            “It isn’t,” Harry says firmly, back straightening with the statement.

            “I don’t know how to trust you,” Louis blurts. “Because – because no matter how many times you apologize or tell me that you love me, the fact of the matter is still that you didn’t choose me. I don’t think that you would choose me over again if you could. Because…why would you? You’re beautiful and you have this amazing job you love and all these friends. I’m just. Me. I have Zayn. I’m not even gonna go to uni. Like. Who would choose me?”

 

Harry reaches out to pull him closer, spreading his thighs more as he does.

            “We’re gonna get this bond thing sorted and then I’m gonna beam my thoughts directly from here,” he taps a ringed finger to his temple, “to here,” then he uses the same finger to tap Louis between the eyes. “And you’ll know that I _do_ choose you. I choose you right now.”

            “You can’t,” Louis manages to protest, fighting the urge to laugh.

            “I can. I do. Always.”

            “No,” Louis protests.

            “Marry me,” Harry says.

Louis squawks, pushing away from him.

            “You can’t just,” he gasps. “How dare you!”

Harry half grins at him. He pushes off the island and backs Louis up into the fridge.

            “It’s mostly a formality at this point,” he says, voice faux thoughtful. “Let’s get married.”

            “I already told you I was done fighting with you for the night, so I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just propose to me in your kitchen over leftovers with no ring. Good? Good.”

He sidesteps Harry and turns back to the microwave, wondering for a moment how long ago his food was done.

            “Our kitchen,” Harry points out, letting him go. “And, you didn’t seem like much of a ring guy.”

            “Just because I don’t wear one on every finger,” Louis huffs. He pushes a stalk of asparagus into his mouth, barely stopping to chew. “And if I’m getting married – yeah, I’m a ring guy.” He turns back to Harry.

Harry doesn’t look the least bit perturbed by this conversation. In fact, he looks almost…happy.

            “Okay,” is all he says.

Louis bites into the next stalk of asparagus much more savagely.

 

Harry lifts both his hands together, his right hand tugging at his left for a moment.

He comes away with a ring.

            “Did you want me down on one knee?”

            “Harry,” Louis protests, his face heating.

Harry seems to take this as affirmation because he squats down, getting on one knee before lifting the ring.

            “I know it probably doesn’t fit yet but – Louis, will you marry me?”

            “Harry,” Louis says again, softer now.

He recognizes the ring because it’s one of the two Harry wears every day.

“You love that ring.”

            “I love you,” Harry corrects. “And if you want this to be a placeholder until we pick you something better, that’s fine. But I would be equally as pleased if you would wear my ring.”

            “You don’t want to marry me.”

            “I do,” Harry disagrees softly. “If you reach out for the bond right now I can assure you you’ll know it too.”

Louis isn’t sure he knows how.

If he is blocking Harry he just needs to…stop doing that.

 

Louis inhales deeply and exhales again.

He closes his eyes.

He imagines himself circling the bond in his brain.

Maybe if he just…

He pictures himself stepping closer and reaching out.

Harry meets him halfway somehow and Louis feels safe and loved and _home_.

            “I want to marry you,” Harry tells him again, quietly like he’s wary of spooking Louis. “I want everyone to know that you’re mine and I’m yours without even getting a chance to smell my claim on you. It’s probably just my possessive alpha-ness but…it’s still what I want.”

            “Started off romantic at least,” Louis teases.

He can feel his own fondness leaking back into the bond but he can’t bring himself to mind.

            “There’s no point with pretenses now.”

Louis opens his eyes and Harry smiles tremulously at him.

“I love you.”

They’re still connected, though it’s tapering off, and Louis feels the words like a caress.

            “I love you, too.”

 

Louis shuffles his way closer to Harry, offering his left hand.

It’s visibly trembling, and he chokes on a laugh.

Harry slides the ring on his finger, both laughing at the way it slides right back toward Louis’s knuckle.

            “We can get it resized.”

            “Get up here, please.”

Harry stands, grunting as his knee cracks.

He wraps Louis in a tight hug, drawing back to pepper kisses over his face.

Louis curls the fingers on his left hand, unwilling to let the ring slide off.

Even though the bond has dissipated, he still feels everything he did before. Maybe just as much.  

Maybe it can always be like this. Louis has his doubts but he’ll worry about them later.

“Can we go to bed?”

            “Do you mean that in the dirty way or the normal way?” Harry questions, smirking at him.

Louis laughs, even as his cheeks warm.

            “Shut up. Normal bed. I’m tired.”

Harry pouts for half a second.

            “Alright,” he says.

            “Alright,” Louis agrees.

Harry takes his hand, leading him down the hall.

If Louis has to jog back to get his food and bring it to bed, Harry’s the only one to see it and laugh at him.

Louis doesn’t mind so much.

 

The next morning, Louis wakes to an empty bed.

He stretches luxuriously, the smallest part of him sad that Harry had crept away without waking him.

It’s entirely possible that Harry tried to wake him but still.

Louis lifts his left hand to his face, eyes growing wide as he sees every finger is naked.

He jerks up, looking through the sheets frantically.

Gone.

He’d had his engagement ring for less than twelve hours.

For a few short moments he covers his face with his hands and feels very sorry for himself.

Hopefully Harry won’t be too upset. They had both known the ring was too big.

Louis forces himself to sit up, glancing to the nightstand for his phone.

On the nightstand, there’s a few folded sheets of paper – and Harry’s ring.

His ring.

Relief surges through Louis’s heart so fiercely he gasps out a laugh.

He reaches over, putting it on and flipping his hand both ways to look at it. Only then does he reach over for the pieces of paper.

_Lou_ the outermost page says _here are a few more current pages for you to read – please forgive me if I don’t give you total access..xx._

Louis huffs out another laugh.

Unbelievable.

Stupid alpha. _His_ stupid alpha.

He’d read Harry’s journal behind his back and in return – Harry proposed and gave him even more.

Louis is almost entirely sure that he doesn’t deserve this.

But…maybe if Harry wants to give it – maybe that’s okay.

Louis reads the journal pages, about four times each. He texts Harry that he loves him. And then he goes to find Lottie to see if she has any tips about making this ring fit better.

…

 

Louis spends most of the day in a sort of blissful state. It’s probably too good to be true but he also doesn’t feel much like challenging it.

His helps his mum with lunch then settles in on the couch as the little ones do their homework.

It’s getting close to the time Harry will be back when his phone starts vibrating in his pocket.

Seeing Zayn’s name on the screen, Louis rushes to answer.

            “What’s up?”

Zayn waits a moment before answering.

            “My suppressants,” he says shortly.

Louis tenses on the couch, pushing off it in the next moment. He figures no one needs to overhear this conversation as he strides toward his and Harry’s room.

Zayn sighs heavily as Louis closes the door behind himself.

            “Need rotated?” Louis questions.

It happens sometimes. Louis is lucky he didn’t have to rotate his when he got sick.

            “Mmhm,” Zayn hums.

            “Shit.”

 

It’s not the end of the world, obviously.

But Zayn will have to go through a heat before he can cycle onto a new suppressant. And…the heat won’t be fun for him.

Louis shudders at the thought of it. His next heat will be…bad. But at least he’ll have Harry to help him through it.

            “I can’t stop thinking about Liam,” Zayn admits on a hushed whisper.

            “When is it starting?”

            “Next week,” Zayn says. “Feels like it will be sooner though.” He exhales hard, inhaling before speaking again. “I can’t…I can’t do this.”

Louis doesn’t say that Zayn could in fact do it.

Liam working Zayn through a heat wouldn’t mean an immediate bond. Not to mention, Louis is pretty sure the alpha would be willing.

But Zayn isn’t talking about the logistics of it.

            “Zee,” Louis sighs after a pause. “If you like him…”

            “You know I do,” Zayn snaps, sighing too. “But you know what it’s like. I can’t – I fucking can’t have that little voice telling me what to do all the time. I have to be my own _person_ before I’m an omega.”

Louis does know what it’s like. He also knows he lucked out with Harry, who seems content to let Louis lead sometimes.

            “Have you talked to Liam about this?”

Zayn scoffs then.

            “How would I do that, Lou? ‘Fancy sticking your knot up my arse and then _not_ being a dickwad alpha about it’? Is that what I’m supposed to say?”

            “Well. Maybe he wouldn’t be a dickwad alpha about it. Harry isn’t.”

 

The door creaks open then, Harry poking his head through.

Louis’s heart swells painfully in his chest. He waves his free hand.

_Okay?_ Harry mouths.

Louis nods, gesturing Harry into the room then. Maybe he can help, give a different perspective and all that shit.

            “Harry’s not like most alphas.”

Louis very nearly hums in outright satisfaction at that.

He can feel Harry’s answering pleasure in the bond and he has to close his eyes for a moment.

            “Listen,” he says, clearing his throat and forcing himself to focus. “Harry’s here. How about we talk to him about all this?”

            “I don’t want to,” Zayn says, mulish.

It’s not a no.

            “I’m putting you on speaker,” Louis warns him.

            “Hi, Zayn,” Harry says.

He’s stopped a few feet from the bed, arms crossed over his chest.

Still in his work clothes, a white button up and black jeans, he looks _delicious_.

Louis has to force himself to focus again.

            “Why is Liam such a wanker?” Zayn demands.

Louis has to smother a laugh in the palm of his free hand.

 

            “Liam is genuinely one of the nicest people I’ve ever met,” Harry contends.

            “He wasn’t nice the night Louis was hurt,” Zayn counters immediately.

Louis grimaces. He still mostly doesn’t remember what happened but he has to admit, he’s glad Liam was there.

            “Actually…it was kinda nice. I felt safe,” he says, shrugging one shoulder.

            “He didn’t listen to either of us. Just like an alpha.”

            “I was bleeding, barely conscious, and we needed help.” Louis inhales. He really doesn’t want to talk about this but… “He still respected my boundaries.”

Zayn snorts.

            “Even if he did, you aren’t his omega. It could have just been in deference to Harry.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, but he shakes his head.

            “I don’t think that’s what it was about,” Louis infers. “I just think it would be better if you went through it with Liam.”

            “I agree…but I think once we cross that line we can’t go back.”

Harry’s brow furrows and Louis feels something in the bond.

            “You think Liam would bite him?” he asks, before he thinks better of it.

            “Liam’s a relationship sorta guy.”

It sounds like Zayn whimpers and coughs in rapid succession on the other end of the line.

            “So...I shouldn’t ask him.”

            “I didn’t say that,” Harry says quickly.

            “One bite isn’t forever,” Louis hurries to add.

 

Zayn is quiet for a couple moments before he speaks again.

            “I need to think about this. Please…” he hesitates, “don’t tell Liam, okay? I just – I don’t know what I want to do yet.”

            “It’s not our news to share,” Harry agrees.

            “We’ve got you,” Louis promises him.

            “Thanks,” Zayn says thickly. “I’ve gotta go.”

The line disconnects before Louis can reply.

            “He’ll be okay,” Harry says, crossing to the bed then. He sits down next to Louis before continuing. “And if he does decide to talk to Liam, Liam will take care of him. You can count on it.”

Louis gives himself a quick mental shake, trying to relax.

It’s Zayn’s decision to make.

            “Thanks for the help. Glad you’re home.”

Harry grins at him, dimples standing out in stark relief.

            “Me too.”

He leans closer, pressing a brief kiss to Louis’s cheek. Then his hand seeks out Louis’s, his index finger brushing back and forth over the ring there.

            “I love you,” Louis sighs.

It’s there in the bond before Harry says anything. Warm reassurance.

            “I know.”

 

…

 

The next morning Louis wakes with exactly zero worries in his mind.

Harry is still in bed with him and Louis grins as he rolls over to get closer to his mate.

He only opens his eyes long enough to aim his face into the juncture between Harry’s neck and shoulder. Then, he lets his eyes close again and breathes in the scent of Harry deeply.

Harry chuckles under him, reaching down to pinch Louis’s bum.

            “Good morning,” Harry offers.

Louis pokes one of his dimples in revenge.

            “Morning, Love.”

Harry only grins more deeply at him, his green eyes barely slits. He growls again, more playfully this time. Then he rolls them both, pinning Louis down with his long body.

Not that Louis minds. It’s base instinct to spread his thighs for his mate, rolling his hips up in a semicircle.

 

            “If you keep that up, you’re not getting out of this bed any time soon.”

            “Maybe I don’t want to get out of this bed any time soon,” Louis suggests.

He rolls his hips again, but this one is a much slower motion.

Harry gazes intently down at him, another smile breaking his composure almost immediately.

“Why should Zayn and Liam have all the fun?”

Louis watches Harry’s face, seeing the exact moment Harry realizes his meaning.

            “You – when?”

Louis pretends to be unaffected by the weight of Harry’s dick against the inside of his thigh.

            “Oh, you know, whenever you want.”

            “I want it right now,” Harry admits on a whisper.

Louis could almost purr in satisfaction.

            “I want it too,” he sighs. “But we should probably at least wait until we know Zayn is okay.”

 

Harry sighs, sagging down against Louis.

            “I know you’re right, and I love that you’re that concerned for him. But that is also not what I wanted to hear.”

When before Louis would have shied away or even panicked – now he just laughs.

            “I know. Trust me, I know. But it will take a while for the suppressants to cycle out anyway.”

Harry bites at Louis’s bare shoulder, his teeth not breaking the skin.

            “I’m gonna fill you up,” he promises.

A shudder runs through Louis’s entire body.

            “You’re gonna feel so good,” Louis returns.

He can’t even imagine how good it will feel now. Now that he knows Harry. Now that they love each other.

It won’t just be a knot. It won’t just be an alpha. It will be _his_ alpha.

He presses up for another kiss, wondering if they could get away with a quick fuck.

But, before they’ve even parted, someone is knocking on the door.

Louis falls back to the mattress, groaning.

Still, chivalrous as ever, Harry offers,

            “I’ll get it.”

From where he’s lying on the bed, Louis can hear his mum tell Harry that Liam is here.

Harry looks back to him and Louis sighs, pushing up onto his elbows before sitting up.

Liam dropping by unannounced is probably not a good thing.

 

            “Okay,” Harry’s saying. “I’ll talk to him in my office. Thank you.”

Harry shuts the door softly, turning back to Louis with a slight frown on his face.

“You want to come or you want to stay out of it?”

            “Well,” Louis sighs again, “what are the chances that it isn’t about Zayn?”

            “Hm, low,” Harry decides.

That was what Louis thought as well.

            “I’ll come.”

Harry opens the door again but waits there for Louis to cross to him.

It makes it remarkably easier for Louis to get out of bed. As he approaches, Harry offers his hand for Louis to take.

Louis’s heart swells even as his cheeks flush pleasantly.

By the time they make it to the door of Harry’s office together, Liam has turned the corner coming down the opposite end of the hall.

Seeing them, his brow only creases further. He’s nearly pouting and Louis has to chew the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything.

Liam is still mostly Harry’s friend, he doesn’t need to mess this up.

            “Hey,” Liam greets, forcing a smile.

            “Hey, Li,” Harry returns. “Come on in.”

Liam goes in first and Harry follows him.

Louis stays back to close the door, leaning against it as Liam and Harry sit down.

Harry sits behind his desk and Liam sits in one of the two chairs in front of it.

Hesitating but not seeing another option that made sense, Louis takes the other chair in front of Harry’s desk.

 

Liam waits a few seconds before sighing.

            “Zayn won’t return my texts or calls,” he says, morose.

Louis hopes his face isn’t pure panic as he looks to Harry, but he’s sure it is.

“Did I do something?” Liam continues, pouting even more fiercely at Harry.

_Zayn’s gonna kill me,_ Louis thinks.

            “No, Liam,” Harry says, leaning forward and resting his arms on his desk. “Zayn is just…going through something right now.”

            “Why can’t I help him with it?”

Louis is eternally grateful for his mate in that moment because he just wants to laugh nervously.

            “I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon,” Harry consoles. “Just, not right now.”

            “But is he alright?”

            “He’s okay.”

Liam turns to Louis then and Louis can feel the blood drain from his face.

            “Is it because I’m an alpha?” he asks, point blank.

            “It’s because Zayn is complicated,” Louis stalls. “It’s hard being an omega.”

            “He’s going into heat. And he doesn’t want to talk to me,” Liam surmises.

Louis looks back to Harry, helpless.

            “He’s not ready for this big of a step,” Harry soothes. “It’s not because he doesn’t like you. It’s…almost the opposite.”

Liam sits back then, his shoulders sagging a bit.

            “Oh,” he lets out. “Okay.”

He brings both hands up to his face, covering it and sighing heavily.

            “Stay for breakfast,” Harry says. “It looks like you could use a distraction.”

            “I could,” Liam agrees, chuckling. He sits back in his chair, sighing heavily. “I know he’s doing the right thing. Neither of us is ready for that but at the same time,” he huffs out another breath, hands curling in the legs of his pants in apparent frustration.

            “You just want to take care of him,” Harry suggests. “And it’s killing you to give him the space that he needs.”

Liam sighs again, possibly in agreement.

Louis wouldn’t know, because he can’t look away from Harry.

 

How long has Harry known Louis was blocking the bond? When did he realize it?

And he never said anything…

He just took it. He took the daily rejections Louis doled out every time Louis chose to protect himself instead.

Louis has to force himself to start breathing again, immediately reminding himself to calm down.

He hadn’t known. He hadn’t done it on purpose.

Still, his eyes start to well with tears because Harry is…Harry is the best alpha for him. Harry loves him. Louis doesn’t think that his heart is big enough to handle the knowledge of this. It feels as if there’s nowhere in his chest, in his whole body, for all of this pulsing _affectionwantneedcollisionloveeuphoria_ to go.

Harry clears his throat and Louis comes back to himself with a start, realizing he has no idea how long the room has been silent.

            “I’ll just see if Louis’s mum needs any help or anything from the store,” Liam says, shooting Louis a surprisingly warm look before rising from his chair.

            “Lou?” Harry questions, before the door is even closed.

            “I’m okay,” Louis says.

It’s his default response, and as if to deny it, two tears slip down his face. He laughs, wiping at them quickly.

“I’m really okay,” he affirms.

They both stand at almost the same time but Harry’s gigantic, giraffe legs cross more ground than Louis’s and they meet at the corner of Harry’s desk.

 

Louis inhales easier as Harry’s arms go around him, meeting at the small of his back and tugging him closer.

            “I just realized that you never told me about the bond, you never fought with me about it, because you were trying to let me figure it out on my own. Because – because if you had brought it up I just would have felt even more shit about it and that all of this was my fault but it isn’t and I know that – I know that now. And I fucking love you so much and…” he smiles tremulously, barely able to meet Harry’s eyes. “And you love me too.”

            “I do love you,” Harry agrees. He bends to kiss Louis’s brow. “I’m _completely_ in love with you. Always.”

            “And we’re gonna stay together,” Louis continues. “We’re gonna figure out this bond and have kids and get married and you love me.”

Harry chuckles as Louis has to pause again to breathe.

            “I love you,” he agrees again.

            “I love you,” Louis sighs, even as he’s pressing up on his toes to kiss Harry.

His Harry.

Always.

The feeling of it is still so big. It’s so huge that Louis knows it can’t be contained by his skin. But it doesn’t have to be. It can spill into the bond – the bond between them that seems to be unending. It should be impossible and unfathomable but Louis can feel it anyway.

He can feel his mate. Their love. Their bond.

It’s the everything kind of love. Where everything finally snaps into place. Where it makes everything stop – if only to make you realize.

Louis isn’t an idiot. He knows they’re not perfect – that they are still going to have stupid fights and probably just be idiots together. But that doesn’t matter.

What matters is Louis _knows_ now. He finally understands that what’s between them is a living, breathing thing. It won’t break, it won’t die, not as long as they keep putting their hearts into it.

 

Always seems like such a small word. Just a collection of six letters. It seems so much simpler than forever. Easier maybe.

Always seems like a Wednesday afternoon kind of love. A brunch sort of love.

A love that allows room for error. A love that Louis can touch.

Maybe they crashed together, maybe Louis should have had a little more faith, and maybe Harry shouldn’t have proposed over leftovers.

But still, Louis doesn’t think they’re a forever kind of Alpha and omega.   
They’re an always kind of Alpha and omega.

They probably won’t have a big fancy wedding with tuxedos and gardenias.

Louis definitely won’t promise to unfailingly obey his Alpha. Harry wouldn’t demand it anyway.

Of course, the difference between forever and always isn’t so much of a difference anyway. But still, it comforts Louis to hear Harry say ‘always’ instead.

It’s breathable and soft.

And Louis fucking loves him.

Always.

 

            “We need to get this ring re-sized,” Louis pulls back enough to remind Harry. “I don’t want to lose it.”

A hot, satiny pleasure washes over Louis from the bond.

            “You don’t want your own ring?”

            “No,” Louis says, almost sharp. He feels his lips half curl. “I want yours.”

In answer, Harry kisses him again.  

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's been literally 22 months but I was never quite happy with the ending so this makes me feel better. Thanks xx.


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